Red string of fate
by lunarstar1018
Summary: Ai is an exorcist of the black order who loves Kanda but Kanda shows no sign of emotion other than hatred. But Ai knows more about Kanda than she lets on. Will she tell him her secret that ties their fates together? Please review, i would like to know what you guys think and would let some feed back on how to better my writing.
1. meetings

Ai's mission was to see if a strange occurrence was influenced by innocent. Ai was an 18 year old girl with long silver hair that was always in a bun, her eyes were a bright lavender. Ai was alone other than Toma, a finder. So her hope was that there wouldn't be any trouble but more often than not, that wasn't the case.

"The town is just through these woods." Toma stated as they walked through a dense forest.

"Alright." Ai replied irritated. The sun shone through the tree tops, it was a beautiful calming scene, aside from the ground which was taken over by vines and tree roots. "Damn it!" Ai hissed as she nearly fell over.

"Are you alright?" Toma was a few feet behind Ai. Ai had her hand on a tree to support herself.

"Yeah." Ai stood straight up. "Lets just get out of here before someone falls and dies." Ai started off. They eventually made it through the woods. The town was small but nice.

"Ah, Ai-san." Toma called out.

"What?" Ai looked to Toma who stood next to her.

"Your arm." Ai looked down at her right arm. Her coat was torn and her arm was cut bad enough to leave a nice stain on her sleeve.

"Eh? How is this supposed to protect me if it can't even make it through the woods!?" Ai growled.

"You can bring that up with Komui." Toma offered.

"**That's **the problem." Ai sighed in frustration.

"Let's find a doctor." Toma started off towards the town.

"I'm fine." Ai pulled her coat off, blood ran down her arm at a rather surprising rate.

"That's deep." Toma was worried about the cut but Ai couldn't care less.

"Excuse me." A man spoke, they both looked to the stranger. He had short black hair and emerald green eyes, he was young and rather attractive.

"Yes?" Luan questioned, she eyed the man suspiciously.

"Do you need help?" The man walked closer to Ai gesturing to her arm.

"Do you know where the doctor is?" Toma asked the man. Ai looked over her shoulder to the woods. She felt like they were being watched.

"That's me." The man smiled warmly.

"Why's the doctor roaming the town?" Ai raised an eyebrow at the man.

"No one needs help. But you." The man again gestured to her arm.

"Hm…..right." Ai shrugged.

"We should take care of that before you loss too much blood." The doctor led Ai to his office in the town. In his office the doctor gently wiped away the blood away on her arm.

"You're a beautiful young lady." The doctor commented as he cleaned her arm. Ai looked at the doctor with a tint of red on her cheeks.

"R-really?" Ai looked away.

"What? No one's ever told you that?" The doctor looked into her lavender eyes.

"No. They always tell Linali though." Ai looked down at her cut.

"Linali?" The doctor gave her a curious look.

"A friend." Ai replied simply as she watched the doctor wrap her arm. Once he wrapped the wound he pressed his hand to the wound then stood up.

"What's your name?" The doctor asked politely.

"Ai." Ai looked to her wound. "What's with the show?" Ai started to unwrap her wound.

"What show?" The doctor looked over his shoulder at Ai.

"Its gone." Ai showed the part of her arm that had been wounded, the cut was completely gone. "So how did you do it?" Ai stood up.

"What do you mean?" The doctor turned to face her, he was on alert now.

"What do you use to heal people?" The doctor instinctively grabbed the pendant around his neck. "Don't worry. I won't take it from you. I suppose I'm here for you then." Ai stated. There had been reports of akuma near the town so they had figured there must be innocence in the town. Seems Ai had found it. Though she hadn't figured innocence could be used for healing. Only killing akuma.

"Me?" The doctor took a step back.

"Yes. The order I'm from. The Black Order, we search for innocence and those who are accommodators to innocence. Innocence is a weapon we use to protect people." Ai gripped her sword. "I am here because we believe there is innocence here and now I think that you may be an accommodator.

"What, what would happen to me? If I go?"

"Well, with your ability we may keep you as you are. The order needs a good doctor like you. A war is starting, and we exorcists are in the middle of this, I have a feeling many people are going to get hurt." Ai spoke solemnly as she looked down at her sword which was attached to her left hip.

"Really?" The doctor looked to her sword also.

"Yes. Now, will you come with us?" Ai looked to the doctor. "We should hurry. Akuma are starting to gather here, and I'm only one exorcist. They will attack the town, and people could get hurt. So I need to leave soon." Ai picked up her coat from the chair she had been sitting in. The doctor was silent for a moment taking in all that had been said.

"Alright. Lets go." The doctor went to a back room to gather some items then joined Ai.

"I really hope we don't get attacked in here." Ai whined under her breath as they traveled through the woods, she nearly tripped which seemed to prove her point. Ai growled before starting off again.

"Are you alright?" The doctor asked putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." Irritation filled Ai's voice. The group only encountered two level one akuma. Ai had quickly cut them down.

"Ah Ai. Welcome back." Linali greeted. Linali was 16 years old. She had long sort of green hair that was in ponytails and dark purple eyes.

"Hello Linali." Ai greeted with a smile.

"She's no where near as beautiful as you." The doctor whispered in Ai's ear causing Ai to gasp and turn red. Ai had learned that the doctor's name was Lukas. Linali gave them a curious look.

"Um… Linali, This is Lukas. He has innocence I believe. He uses it to heal people. Please take good care of him. I need to go talk Komui." Ai started off down the hall. A young man with long dark blue hair that was in a ponytail was walking in the opposite direction of her.

"Ah, Kanda-sama. Going on a mission?" Ai smiled at him, Kanda just stopped to glare at her.

"Yeah." Kanda spoke indifferently.

"Good luck." Ai smiled again.

"Who's he? The one who whispered in your ear?" Ai blushed at the question. So Kanda had seen that.

"Lukas. A doctor. I believe he is an accommodator." Ai looked over her shoulder to see Linali and Lukas walk down a different hallway.

"Right. Well later." Kanda started walking again.

Bye." Ai called after him and waved.

"Whatever." Kanda replied coolly.

"Bak- Kanda!" Ai called out in a playful tone.

"Don't call me that!" Kanda spun around to glare at Ai. Ai just smiled then walked away.

"Tsk." Kanda growled again.


	2. Germany

**Author's notes: whoo hoo! chapter two! this one is longer than the first. I have already started the next chapter so that will be up soon. I really should sleep since its...4 in the morning but even though I don't feel very well and can't even type right anymore I can't sleep... *sigh* well enjoy and please review.****  
**

"Komui!" Ai called out as she charged into the head of the British Branch's office. The desk was covered with books and papers. The floor around the desk was littered with papers. Ai was not surprised that Komui never got an official work done with the mess of an office he had. When Komui snapped up a stack of papers fell to the floor sliding towards Ai's feet.

"Yes?" Komui replied when Ai had called his name trying to act like he hadn't just been sleeping like usual. "What?" Komui questioned when Ai's coat landed on his head.

"What good is that stupid coat if it can't even make it through the woods?" Ai growled Komui found the cut in the coat putting his hand through the hole.

"Tough branch." Komui remarked.

"Baka." Ai hissed. "Fix it." Ai demanded before leaving the office. A week later Ai was in the cafeteria eating lunch when Lukas decided to join Ai at her table.

"Hello." Lukas greeted with a smile when he sat across from Ai.

"Hello. How are things going for you?" Ai questioned politely before taking a bite of her soba.

"Fine. The room is nice. The food is fantastic." Lukas beamed. Ai stared at Lukas for a moment trying to figure what kind of person he was.

"I'm glad things are going well for you. But you might want to move over here…Too late." Ai spoke the last part in a lower voice as she looked to her food.

"Move. You're in my spot." Someone commanded. Lukas looked over his shoulder to see an irritated Kanda.

"R-right." Lukas stood up and moved over next to Ai.

"Welcome back Kanda-sama." Ai smiled.

"Whatever." Kanda sat down and started to eat. He had no idea why Ai insisted on being so polite to him when he was only mean to her. He figured she had brain damage from all the fighting.

"You should…" Lukas started to speak, Ai who guessed what Lukas might say covered his mouth before he got himself cut down by Kanda on their first meeting. Kanda glared at Lukas, Ai just gave an innocent smile.

"It's fine. It's fine." Ai waved with her free hand as she laughed nervously. "He's like that. We just learn to work around him." Ai commented.

"Knocking me unconscious doesn't really count as working around me." Kanda retorted glaring at Ai.

"Right." Ai gave a nervous laugh, she had hoped he had forgotten about that. Guess not. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Ai?" Lukas called for Ai's attention.

"Yes?" Ai looked to Lukas.

"I'm curious, how old are you?" Lukas had a curious expression. Ai blinked at him a few times. He really liked her didn't he? Great. Now she'd have to think of a way to politely turn him down if he did like her.

"I'm 18." Ai replied simply.

"Oh. Do you have a boyfriend?" Lukas spoke with a charming smile that wasn't working on Ai. Ai stared at Lukas with a raised eyebrow. Was he trying to be slick? If so, it wasn't really working.

"No. Why?" Ai was defensive now.

"No reason. Just curious. Though I must say I'm surprised, you're a beautiful lady so I'd figured you'd be spoken for. Most guys are after you no?" Lukas continued to flash his charming smile which was making Ai want to run away. Lukas was making rather uncomfortable and Kanda could see that.

"Not really no." Ai stated as she continued eating.

"Because most people go for who someone is. Not how they look. Only Rabbit would do that. The princess is an acquired taste. She's very independent, most guys want a damsel in distress, not an independent woman. If a woman is independent that leaves the guy feeling unneeded. And no guy wants to feel that way." Kanda stated as he ate. Did Kanda just say that no man would want Ai? Ai didn't know how to feel about that little speech of Kanda's.

"Rabbit? Who's Rabbit?" Lukas looked to Ai confused. He wasn't sure if he had heard that right.

"Lavi." Ai replied.

"Yes?" A sing songy voice questioned as arms wrapped around Ai from behind.

"Oh, I was translating your nickname for Lukas." Ai gestured to the doctor who smiled at Lavi.

"Oh…" Lavi sighed as he sat on the other side of Ai. "So you're the new guy."

"Yes." Lukas was clearly British, he was so polite. Just like Allen. Except Allen was so polite it was kind of scary. But Ai could tell sometimes it was a forced politeness. He was trained by someone to maintain a state of such politeness.

"How old are you?" Lavi spoke curiously.

"20." Lukas replied.

"Oh cool. You're just a little older than us. But you're the only adult accommodator in this branch." Lavi was a bookman, a gatherer of information of any kind really. But a bookman's job was mainly to gather information on the battles between the Earl and the Black Order, the history behind the two. Ai would have to one day try to see how much of the true history behind the Black Order the bookmen knew.

"Hey. I'm adult in sense. And so is Kanda." Ai pointed out, insulted to be labeled as a child.

"Right. Forgot." Lavi gave a big smile that prevented Ai from holding a grudge.

"Kanda. Ai." Linali called out as she stood in the doorway of the cafeteria.

"Yes?" Ai looked over her shoulder to Linali who beckoned for them to go with her. "Well bye." Ai spoke to Lavi and Lukas before leaving with Kanda.

"What's up?" Ai questioned when they reached Linali.

"You have mission so Komui wants to see you." Linali replied as she led them to Komui's office.

"Do you know what it is?" Ai asked as they walked. Kanda was walking in front of them at a bit faster pace but didn't leave them too far behind.

"No. But my brother will tell you." Linali shrugged when she replied.

' "Alright…" Ai looked to Kanda who was leading them to Komui's office.

Kanda and Ai were walking through the Black Forest of Germany on their mission. Some akuma popped up but Kanda quickly cut them down with no effort before Ai could even draw her sword.

"Geez. Over kill much? I didn't even have time to draw my sword." Ai huffed.

"Should be quicker. Kanda stated as he sheathed his sword. A bush rustled causing both to draw their swords.

"Whoa. Easy." A finder walked out of hiding with his hands up to show he meant no harm. " I'm just a finder. Were you sent here to help?" The finder seemed happy to see them.

"Ah, no." Ai shrugged.

"Oh." The finder slumped a little, losing some hope.

"Let's go princess." Kanda started off.

"Okay." Ai looked over her shoulder at Kanda then back to the finder. "Well, good luck." Ai turned to follow after Kanda.

"Wait!" The finder grabbed Ai's wrist. Ai looked over her shoulder at the finder shocked.

"Wha-what?" Ai looked to the finder then to Kanda who stood staring back at Ai then back to the finder.

"Take me with you. Please." The finder begged.

"Heh….?" Ai looked to Kanda for help.

"Leave him. Lets go." Kanda turned away.

"I'm sorry but we have a job to do." Ai tried to get her wrist back but the finder was scared and gripped Ai's wrist tighter not wanting to let her go.

"Please." The finder continued to beg. After a moment of the pathetic finder staring down Ai she sighed.

"Kanda-sama, it couldn't hurt could it?" Ai looked over her shoulder to Kanda who had only moved a few steps till he had realized Ai was still stuck with the finder.

"He's your charge." Kanda stated as he started to walk again. He just wanted to get this mission over with already and the stupid finder was proving more trouble than a damn akuma.

"Alright." Ai agreed since it meant the finder would let go of her wrist which was starting to hurt.

"Thank you!" The finder shook Ai's wrist in glee.

"Right. Now lets go before Kanda-sama leaves us behind." They followed after Kanda who was way ahead of them already.

"You two should clean up. You're covered in blood." The finder pointed out. It was a messy job killing akuma.

"Oh?" Ai looked down at her clothes. She had little splatters of blood on her uniform from when Kanda had killed the akuma in the woods. "Huh." They went to a pond they found nearby a small town. The finder washed Kanda's jacket as Kanda washed his hands and face. Ai sat washing her jacket herself since there really wasn't much to wash.

"A lotus flower." Ai pointed out when she had looked towards the center of the pond.

"What?" Kanda looked over at Ai.

"A lotus." Ai pointed to the flower. The lotus was a soft pink color, it reminded Kanda of the lotus he had in his room. Kanda noticed the sad pained smile Ai had on her face.

"What?" Kanda demanded.

"Its interesting. The seed can sleep for a thousand years. And its so spectacular when they bloom. I used to have a pond full of lotus' just like that." Ai spoke softly caught up in thoughts of the past. A past that was impossible to return to now after so many years. "'One day we'll see them together as they stare up into heaven.'" Ai accidently said that last part, shock covered Kanda's face.

"What did you just say?" Kanda demanded.

"Hm? Oh, uh…a saying I heard once." Ai shrugged before standing up putting her jacket back on. Ai turned away to look around. "Hey, what's that?" There was a small shack that was overrun by nature.

"A shack? Out in the woods?" The finder questioned.

"Oh, hello." A girl greeted warmly. Everyone looked to the girl. Kanda nudged Ai to talk to the girl with his elbow.

"Oh. Hello." Ai greeted.

"Baka." Kanda whispered harshly.

"Oh, right. Does anyone live there?" Ai pointed to the shack.

"No. An old woman used to live there but she passed away a little while ago." The girl looked to the shack. Ai was curious as to why regret covered the girl's face when she looked to the shack. Ai had the feeling the girl wasn't telling them something. Ai had a bad feeling about that shack and about the girl.

"I see." Ai had a tone of suspicion in her voice but the girl didn't pick up on it or didn't show she had anyway.

"The town thought she was a witch so they made her live out here." The girl explained. "Are you hungry?" The girl looked to the group with a smile that really made Ai not trust this girl.

"Yes!" The finder beamed.

"You should come for dinner then. I'm sure my father would enjoy the company." The girl continued to smile.

"Can we please?" The finder begged looking to Kanda since it was clear he made the decisions in this group.

"Fine." Kanda sighed in irritation after a moment. As the girl led the group to her house Ai fell back a bit and made Kanda do so also.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this." Ai whispered in Japanese.

"We'll see how this plays out." Kanda replied in Japanese. Once they reached the girl's house she made them sit at the table while she cooked. Ai had decided to take a small look around the town till dinner was ready. About five minutes after dinner was served to everyone else Ai had joined them.

"I didn't see anyone. It's almost as though the town is deserted." Ai whispered in Japanese when the girl had moved to the pot over the fire to get the finder seconds.

"But be patient princess. We'll find out soon I think." Kanda replied quietly in Japanese.

"Where are you two from? I can't say I recognize your language." The girl smiled as she asked the question. Ai looked to Kanda to see if she should answer the question, he nodded to answer her unspoken question.

"Japan. Indirectly." Ai replied. The finder looked at Ai confused.

"How are you from Japan indirectly?" The finder questioned. That was difficult to explain. Ai herself hadn't seen Japan in about a thousand years.

"That's difficult to explain." Ai shrugged it off.

"Oh…" The finder returned to eating. After everyone ate the girl led Kanda and the finder to a spare room and had Ai share the girl's room with her. After an hour the girl had fallen asleep and Ai left to look around the town again. The town looked as though no one had lived there in a few years. Ai knocked on the door to a house before quietly entering the house. Just as Ai figured, the house was empty. Ai checked a few more houses all with the same story, they were empty.

"Are they all empty?" Ai thought as she walked down the main road of the town headed towards the church. Ai noticed the girl standing in her way of the church down the road.

"Oh. Hello. I was wondering where you had gone. I was worried." The girl spoke with an eerie smile Ai's instinct was to place her hand on her sword.

"What are you doing out here? It's dangerous." Ai noted that there was dirt on the girl's clothes. It was clear she had been out in the woods. Ai slowly drew her sword readying herself for a fight. Ai wondered where Kanda was and if the finder was alright. There was no need to worry if Kanda was alright, he could take care of himself but the finder, well he clearly couldn't. Though the finder would be fine if he was with Kanda. Kanda would be irritated but he would help the finder if he was in danger.

"Miss exorcist, are you scared of me….?" The girl tilted her head to the side a little adding to how creepy the girl seemed right now.

"No." Ai pointed her sword right at the girl. As Ai charged at the girl, the girl turned into an akuma and swatted Ai away. Ai crashed into the church bell tower hitting the bell.

Kanda was on his was from the woods back into the town with the finder who he had found in the shack from earlier. When Kanda heard the bell he went running into the town. Kanda saw the akuma in the center of the town. He instantly attacked the akuma. Kanda managed to get a few hits in before he was suddenly frozen. Ai had landed on the ground of the top floor after hitting the bell. When Ai finally stood up she saw Kanda frozen in place as the akuma was about to attack Kanda.

"Kanda!" Ai yelled as she jumped from the bell tower then charged at the akuma. When Kanda heard his name called he was brought back to reality and was able to move again.

"You stupid akuma!" Kanda attached the akuma when it had turned to face Ai. "No one can give me what I want. My wish cannot be fulfilled till I find who I am looking for." Kanda spoke harshly as he pierced his sword further into the akuma and twisted the blade causing the akuma to scream in pain. Ai skidded to a fault when she had seen Kanda stab the akuma. Her eyes widened in surprise with what Kanda had said in almost a harsh whisper.

"Kanda?" Ai whispered. Did he remember? Ai shook her head to be rid of the hope that he was talking about what she was thinking about. Ai ran over to the finder who was sitting on the ground barely awake. As Ai spoke to the finder to see if he was alright a couple level one akuma showed up. Ai quickly cut them down landing beside the finder.

"Are you alright?" Ai questioned knelling down in front of the finder as she pushed her bangs to the side out if her eyes.

"Y-yeah I'm fine. Just not sure as to what happened." The finder yawned and rubbed his eye sleepily.

"Everyone in the town was an akuma. That girl turned them into akuma after she was brought back as an akuma herself by her twin sister. She died in the shack where that old witch used to live. She said it was a superstition they had. That someone always had to live in the shack for some reason. She was always ill, and when she was forced to live there she got worse, eventually dying." Kanda stated as he walked up to Ai and the finder.

"I see." Ai looked over her shoulder as she stood up to where Kanda had killed the girl. "So sad. People can be so cruel. They picked her because she was always sick huh? It makes since, they wouldn't be losing much if the sick girl died…"

"That's what she had said." Kanda looked away.

"Hey! If I get sick don't go offering me up for some superstitious occult! I'll kick your ass!" Ai hissed at Kanda. Ai had a bad habit of getting sick so she didn't want Kanda to get any ideas of leaving her behind. "I'm not useless when I'm sick, I'll still fight no matter what. To my dying breath I will fight. To make everything right again." Ai spoke softly looking at the ground. That was a promise, a promise she intended to keep.

"Yeah yeah. Like I would be part of some cult. That would be the cursed moyashi maybe so yell at him. Let's go now." Kanda started to leave. Linali met up with the group in Germany to retrieve the lost finder before Kanda and Ai went o their nest mission.

"Hey Linali." Ai greeted cheerfully when she saw Linali in the restaurant they were to meet at. Linali looked to Ai with a smile from her seat at a table. Everyone sat down at the table with Linali. Ai and Kanda sat on one side and the finder sat next to Linali.

"Hey guys. How are you?" Linali asked politely.

"We're fine. Kanda should be happy. He got to kill some akuma. Yet, he seems more….distant than usual." Ai whispered the last part to Linali. They both looked to Kanda, Kanda had his head turned away, eyes shut arms crossed looking irritated. He acted like he was ignoring them but Ai knew he was listening to everything they said. Ai frowned when she thought about Kanda being unhappy.

"Well, we're glad you found at least one finder alive. What happened?" Linali leaned back in her seat. The conversation was interrupted by a waiter but continued once everyone had ordered food. Ai ordered for Kanda since he didn't see to be in a talking sort of mood. He seemed very lost in thought, Ai was worried how long he'd stay lost and if he'd find his way back. All that anger he had, it was eating away at his soul and that scared her most of all. This Kanda that was here now in front of her, that wasn't the Kanda she knew. It wasn't the real Kanda, she so badly wanted to see him smile again and not that sadistic smile he very rarely showed when he was torturing someone or something.

"A twin turned her sister into an akuma and turned everyone in the town into an akuma for revenge for the death of her sister. She was a level two akuma. She blamed the town for the death of her sister slash herself since she was put in a shack and died of illness. It was in a sense the towns fault but still…." Ai explained, when she trailed off she looked to the table. Ai blamed the Black Order for some things but she didn't hate all the members of the order. It wasn't everyone's fault but yeah, sometimes when she looked at the other members like Linali, Komui, the Generals, or the finders she got so angry she would want to kill them but she never did. She always reminded herself that she would have her revenge and would only harm those who had wronged her and those she loved. The waiter showed up with the food, everyone started to eat but Ai. Ai just sat there staring at her food.

"Something wrong Ai?" Linali spoke when she noticed Ai not eating.

"Are you sick again princess?" Kanda spoke bitterly but still reached out to feel Ai's forehead for a fever.

"Don't touch me!" Ai hit Kanda's hand away before it touched her as she stood up. Everyone in the group looked at her shocked, so did some of the other customers.

"What's wrong with you? You're making a scene." Kanda's tone was one of irritation, he set his fork down and turned to face Ai. Ai was glaring down at Kanda. She was silent for a moment, it was clear to everyone she was angry but no one had any idea as to why. Usually Ai was calm and collected, to see her act out in such a display of anger was very strange.

"N-nothing. Just, don't touch me. I'm going for a walk. Meet me at the edge of town when you're done eating Kanda." Ai spoke almost like her normal self before leaving the restaurant. As Ai walked down the street she noticed Kanda was a few steps behind her. Ai kept walking and didn't look back when she spoke.

"What are you doing? I said to meet me when you were done eating and unless you now eat like Walker-san I don't think you finished your food." Ai was trying to stay calm but it was hard. She had left to get some time away from Kanda before their mission started but he wasn't allowing that it seemed.

"No one can eat like that stupid bean sprout. And I just want to get this mission done with so we can go back to the order and since you aren't eating why wait? And since when did I have to start explaining myself to you princess?" Kanda growled, the last bit was actually more of him scolding himself for being more open to her with his thoughts than he liked.

"Shut up." Ai closed her eyes in irritation then slowly opened her eyes, sadness covered her expression, not that Kanda could see that. "What animal would you compare me to?"

"What?" Kanda blinked a few times confused by the question.

:You heard me, so just answer the question." Ai didn't stop walking or look back at Kanda. She just kept watching her feet.

"A wolf I guess. Why?" Kanda replied after a moment of thought.

"Then call me 'okami' then. Or anything but princess. I hate that word." Ai spoke softly, Kanda could hear the hint of anger and loneliness in Ai's voice and was surprised by it. "Let's go." Ai started to walk faster.


	3. when pasts come to haunt

**Author's note: uh...oh! still don't remember, haven't been to sleep yet and its 8 am. cool. oh! this chapter is a little shorter than the last, actually its about half. the next chapter have uh... mature content. zzzzzzz (stupid word thing doesn't know how to spell "haven't"... stupid word thing.**

Their mission in Germany was finished quickly and within a week they were back at the order in London. Kanda and Ai were greeted by Allen and Linali in the hall.

"Hey Ai, Kanda." Linali greeted.

"Hey Ai. How are you?" Allen smiled. Ai wanted to just keep walking, to not speak but she had mentally trained herself to hide how she truly felt when she could. In the end she had realized she and Allen were a lot alike in that aspect.

"I'm good. How are you Walker-san?" Ai smiled at Allen.

"I'm fine. How did your mission go?" Allen questioned as he looked at Kanda who was looking away as Linali spoke to him.

"As best as it could. Now I'm very tired…." Ai smiled politely indicating that she was done talking. Allen picked up on the hint.

"Oh right. Of course. I'll see you later then." Allen smiled as he stepped out of Ai's way. Ai nodded before leaving to her room. As Ai and Allen had talked Linali had pulled Kanda off to the side to talk.

"How was Ai? On the mission you know? I'm worried, it isn't like her to get so upset." Linali frowned.

"I don't know the working of any girls mind let alone the princess's. She did the mission, that's all that matters to me. You want to know what happened at the restaurant ask her." Kanda left it at that. Once in her room Ai took her jacket off to be left with a black tank top and black shorts plus her boots. But by the time she reached the door to her bathroom that was all gone. All that was left on her body was a necklace that had two rings on it. Ai undid the silver ribbon that held her hair in its bun, once free her hair unraveled until it reached a little past her butt. Ai took a nice long hot shower, after that Ai sat on her bed in a robe drying her hair. There was a knock on her door, when she opened the door she was surprised to see Kanda. Ai looked over her shoulder for a second to look at her clock. It was almost eleven at night, why was Kanda at her door.

"Kanda what is it? Its almost eleven." Ai questioned as she rubbed her head and messed with the hair by her ear making sure all her hair was behind her. Ai had the door open just enough to show her and nothing else since the room was too dark to see anything, Ai was leaning against the doorway.

"I am well aware of the time." Kanda growled in irritation. To be honest he wasn't quite sure himself as to the reason why he was there.

"Okay….." Ai raised an eyebrow at Kanda. "Something you need? Something that can't wait till morning? Its late and I'm tired, and besides, usually after a mission don't you go hiding in your room? And I'm surprised you even know where my room is." Ai rubbed one of her eyes as she gave a small yawn. Kanda couldn't help but think that Ai looked kind of cute right now. Kanda blushed a little at the thought then looked away.

"Linali was worried about you after what happened at the restaurant in Germany. Get your act together otherwise she'll bother me thinking I know what's got you so damn upset you actually display a damn emotion. An emotion you really feel." Kanda looked at Ai out of the corner of his eye.

"Display emotion? Oh that's priceless coming from you, you dumb ass! You never show emotion other than anger!" Ai retorted.

"Dumb ass?!" Kanda looked at Ai in irritation.

"Yeah! Dumb ass! You have no right to talk to me about emotions!" Ai hissed then took a deep breath. "What that all you wanted Kanda?" Ai spoke in a more disinterested tone. Kanda just noticed something which made him stare thoughtfully down at Ai.

"Since when did you start calling me Kanda? You used to only call me Kanda-sama." Kanda pointed out. Ai's eyes widened in shock, she hadn't even noticed that she had dropped the honorific from his name. Now that she thought about it, she had done that since the level two akuma in Germany.

"Oh. Sorry. I hadn't even done so. Sorry. I won't do it again." Ai looked away awkwardly.

"Kanda's fine. You can call me Kanda." Kanda spoke a little softer than usual. But what Kanda said and how it was said made Ai look at Kanda in surprise with a tint of red to her cheeks.

"O-okay." Ai blinked a few times unsure of what to think. Kanda stared down at Ai for a moment, he was confused as to why he had the sudden urge to kiss Ai.

"Well good night okami." Kanda stormed off down the wall leaving Ai very confused.

"What just happened?" Ai shook her head in confusion before shutting her door and going to bed. The next morning Ai was woke up by knocking at her door. Her clock read six in the morning. Ai quickly got changed, put her shoes on and grabbed her jacket before answering the door. Ai avoided letting people see her out of her uniform as much as she could. When she answered the door she was buttoning up her jacket to hide her necklace. It was Allen at the door.

"Hey." Allen waved with a smile.

"Hey." Ai nodded, she wasn't really a morning person.

"Want to get breakfast with us?" Allen asked, Ai noticed Linali in the hall a little ways away.

"Sure." Ai stepped into the hall closing the door behind her before turning around to lock her door. They walked together to the cafeteria, Allen and Linali were talking all energetic, Ai was a little behind them yawning every so often.

"Hey, Ai!" Lukas the new doctor called out when he saw Ai enter the cafeteria with Allen and Linali. Ai simply put a hand up in recognition of his greeting as she covered a yawn with her other hand. Once they got their food everyone joined Lukas at the table. Linali, Allen and Lukas were all talking so cheerfully, Ai was on the verge of falling asleep in her food.

"Hey okami, don't fall asleep in your food, its unattractive." Kanda spoke as he sat in his usual spot across from Ai. Everyone looked to Kanda confused as to who 'okami' was and what it meant except Ai who simply snapped up.

"Who's okami?" Allen questioned.

"Use your brain stupid moyashi. Who's the only one falling asleep at the table. Everyone looked to Ai who was a little more awake now.

"I think its cute to see the sleepy side of Ai." Lukas smiled, Ai blushed a little. Kanda grew irritated, he really didn't like how much the doctor seemed to like Ai.

"Shut up lecher. No one was asking you what you think." Kanda started to eat.

"Lecher? So that that my nickname?" Lukas continued to smile, he enjoyed pissing off Kanda it seemed.

"What does okami mean?" Allen leaned in and whispered to Ai as Kanda and the doctor argued.

"Wolf." Ai replied as she ate some food.

"It seems the little Samurai boy can't stand a little competition." Lukas teased, Kanda grew very angry.

"Yeah right. Like you could stand to be competition. And competition for what the silly okami?" Kanda huffed. Unfortunately Lukas was sitting right next to Ai.

"Yep." Lukas replied as he took Ai's chin between his thumb and index finger making her look at him and tilted her head up a little. Lukas started to lean in to kiss Ai, Kanda put his hand to his sword but removed it when Ai poured her water on Lukas' head before he could manage to kiss her. Lukas blinked a few times confused Ai just had a distant look.

"Is she even awake really?" Allen wondered aloud.

"I am. Now my breakfast is ruined. Thanks you guys." Ai stood up taking her tray with her.

"That was rejection right?" Lukas looked to the group confused.

"First time being rejected?" Linali raised an eyebrow at the doctor.

"You know, most girls fall for a guy when they call her beautiful especially when she apparently doesn't hear that too often…." Lukas sighed resting his chin in his palm.

"Ai doesn't need to hear she is beautiful. She need to feel beautiful. The order isn't the place for that sort of thing though. And girls don't really want to hear that they are beautiful, sure it makes them feel good about themselves but most of all girls want to feel loved. For a guy to show how much he loves her not say it. Actions speak louder than words." Linali commented as she stared at the door Ai had left out of. "Ai has no one. Everyone here is nice to me and shows that I am needed, same with Allen, they're nice to Allen and are his friends, even you now have friends here. But poor Ai has no one. She stands alone, and the worst part is, she makes it that way. We try, but she's like Kanda, she pushes everyone away." Everyone looked to Kanda who just sat there eating. Kanda stood up then leaving the group at the table. No one saw or heard from Ai until dinner that day when she showed at the table to eat her dinner. Everyone watched as Ai sat down though she actually sat in a different seat this time. She sat at the end of the table same side as Kanda so Linali sat between her and Kanda, Lukas sat across from Lavi who sat on the other side of Kanda. All the troublemakers in Ai's life right now were away from her so she could actually eat in peace. No one commented on Ai's new seat, everyone returned to eating.

"Hey Ai," Allen called Ai's attention who nodded to show she was listening as he walked up to the table. "Do you know a Kasau Tezuka?" Ai nearly dropped her chopsticks at the mention of the name.

"They aren't here are they?" Ai seemed to be in a panic as she looked to Allen.

"Yes. He's on his way to the cafeteria now. Why?" Allen replied. Ai jumped to her feet.

"From the way you came?" Allen replied with a nod. "Walker-san finish my food or get rid of it or something." Ai hurried off out a different door then the one Allen had entered through.

"Hey Allen-kun?" A young man with long black hair and bright green eyes called out as he walked up to Allen.

"Yes?" Allen turned to face the man, Kasau Tezuka. Tezuka's Japanese accent was much stronger than Kanda's and Ai's.

"You said Ai was in this branch yeah?" Tezuka noticed Kanda and Linali. Linali looked at Tezuka with intrigue, Kanda just outright ignored Tezuka much as he did everyone and everything else.

"Yeah…Turns out she finished dinner already and went to bed a bit ago." Allen smiled. "Sorry. I guess you'll have to see her another time…" Allen shrugged.

"Damn. I've already waited like three years to see her." Tezuka sat in the seat across from where Ai had been sitting.

"How do you know Ai?" Linali questioned.

"She had started out at the American Branch after being moved from the Vatican. I don't know why though, that was a while before I got there. She was seven at the time. When I first met her she never said a word, well actually I still have yet to hear her voice. They grouped us together figuring I'd get her to talk since we were both Japanese. Didn't work." Tezuka shrugged.

"Well she speaks now." Kanda spoke up. It had been Kanda who had first gotten Ai to speak two and a half years ago. Everyone looked to Kanda who was drinking his tea.

"I see." Tezuka looked away from Kanda.

"Ai was in America?" Allen questioned.

"She was in the Vatican?" Linali questioned. It was odd to hear of an exorcist starting from the Vatican. Linali figured there was something important about Ai for her to start off at the Vatican.

"That's what General Cross told me." Tezuka shrugged.

"C-Cross?" Allen lost all color in his face.

"Yeah. That was her teacher or master or something…" Tezuka shrugged again.

The next morning Ai was walking in the hall when she found Kanda. They started to walk to the cafeteria together in silence till Ai heard the voice she had hoped to never hear. Ai would rather hear Cross's voice then the voice that called her name.

"Ai!" Tezuka called out when he saw Ai, he was standing behind her a ways back with Linali, Allen and Lavi. Ai froze for a second then took off down a side hallway. "Ai!" Tezuka called again.

"Maybe she's shy to see you again." Linali offered.

"Maybe…." The group started off, their backs were to Tezuka so they missed the menacing grin that had crept on to Tezuka's lips. Later on Tezuka found Ai in one of the lounges reading a book.

"Hey Ai. So I hear you speak now. What'd it take to get you to speak?" Tezuka spoke in Japanese as he sat on the couch across from Ai. Ai glared at him. She was caught in an internal battle of whether or not to snap back at him or not let him hear her voice.

"That is none of your concern." Ai stuck to English returning her gaze to her book.

"Oh really? I think I deserve to know." Tezuka leaned forward. "After everything I did to get you to even get you to even make a sound. All I got in the end were tears."

"You don't deserve to know. I hate you." Ai closed her book as she stood up. "You made me break a promise, so you **don't** deserve to know nor do you get to know. I never want to see you again," Ai's tone told Tezuka she was very serious but he didn't care.

"Are you mad about that?" Tezuka stood up his hands held out to his sides. Ai drew her sword holding with one hand pointing it right at Tezuka. "I was expressing my love for you. As I recall you did not say no." Tezuka started to go around the table to get closer to Ai taking the path that put him between Ai and the door. Ai followed Tezuka with her sword as she stepped away out of his reach.

"I said no. Not verbally but no none the less. Slapping you, scratching, and kicking didn't give you that impression?" Ai hissed.


	4. the history between Ai and Tezuka

**Authors note: this is a shorter chapter... sorry if there are any errors...thank you for reading. please review ^_^**

Three years ago in the American branch Ai was walking down the hall with Tezuka when he had pulled her into his room. Tezuka closed and locked the door behind him. Ai took a few steps away from Tezuka when he turned to face her. Ai was very scared of what was happening.

"Ai. I love you. Do you understand what that means?" Tezuka spoke as he walked up to Ai who stood in the center of his room. Ai slowly nodded as a reply. "I've loved you for a long time now. I can't hide how I feel anymore." Tezuka tried to kiss Ai but she covered his mouth with her hand and pushed him away. Ai moved towards the door to escape. Tezuka spun Ai around pinning her wrists above her head on the door.

"Let me show you." Tezuka leaned in again. Ai shook her head violently, Tezuka used his free hand to hold Ai's head still. Ai kicked Tezuka in the leg, Tezuka slumped a little but still held Ai's wrists. He tossed Ai on the bed quickly climbing on top of Ai still pinning her wrists above her head. Ai struggled to get free but to no avail. Tezuka worked with his free hand to remove Ai's shorts and underwear. Once that was done Tezuka unzipped his pants freeing himself. Tezuka wasted no time thrusting into Ai. Ai threw her head back in pain thrashing about trying desperately to get away from this situation. Ai shut her eyes tight as tears streamed from her eyes.

"Ai relax." Tezuka tried to sooth Ai but that was not going to happen and to be honest that didn't bother Tezuka. Ai shook her head again showing how much she hated this. Tezuka continued to force himself in and out of Ai who would not stop struggling. "Honestly, it would stop hurting if you relaxed." Tezuka spoke through grunts, it was a little difficult to move in Ai with her struggling so much.

"Ow!" Tezuka called out when Ai dug her nails deep into Tezuka's hand who in turn used his free hand to back hand Ai. That caused Ai to stop moving for a moment but she didn't remove her nails. Tezuka thrusted harder into Ai causing her to release her grip on his hand. Ai looked to the side titling her head back biting Tezuka's arm hard enough to draw blood. "You bitch!" Tezuka released Ai's wrists who returned the favor by scratching his face, moving away from him so he was no longer in her then kicking him in the head. Tezuka clashed with the wall successfully knocking him unconscious. Ai hopped off the bed quickly dressed herself then bolted out of the room. The next day Ai was transferred to the London branch where she met Kanda but that was a story for another time.

Now Ai stood in a lobby of the London branch three years later pointing her katana at Tezuka who had her trapped in the lobby.

"Ai calm down. Put the sword away. There's no need for weapons. I won't hurt you." Tezuka kept walking closer to Ai with a fake polite smile.

"Yeah right. You want to do what you did three years ago. That isn't going to happen. Not again." Ai stopped backing up slightly thrusting her sword forward causing Tezuka to stop and put his hands up.

"Easy now. You could hurt someone." Tezuka taunted.

"That's the point." Ai retorted standing in a fighting stance. Tezuka shook his head before jumping Ai. Ai lowered her sword as she jumped to the side then ran out of the lobby. Ai stopped once she was in the hall. The lobby had no doors so when she saw Kanda leaning against the hall right by the entrance to the lobby she knew he had heard at least the end of their exchange. Ai blinked a few times, Kanda stood there looking guilty, Ai ran down the hall in the opposite direction. Kanda had seen the terror in her eyes, though he wasn't sure if it was from hearing their conversation, Tezuka or both. When Tezuka walked in the hall he get a surprise punch in the face by Kanda. It surprised Kanda too that he had punched Tezuka. Kanda had no idea why he had punched Tezuka, he just knew Tezuka needed punched. It wasn't like Ai to draw her sword, especially on a fellow member of the order. Tezuka hit the ground hard, Kanda just walked the same direction Ai had went.


	5. more secrets

**Whoo hoo! chapter...5! longer than the last too! yay! this has majorly changed from the written fanfict i was using that i had wrote like a year ago...oh well! Please enjoy and review! ^_^ I may not post any more chapters till i get 1 review. I have the next chapter started but am feelin real sad none of the 10 who have viewed my story have reviewed :'(  
**

Ai went straight to her room and locked herself in her room. Ai sat on the ground with her back against the door. After a moment there was a knock on the door that made Ai jump.

"Okami." Kanda spoke. He didn't need to say who it was. Only he called her by okami.

"Go away." Ai called back. Kanda simply went and leaned against the railing across from her door.

"Baka okami. You're scared you need to tell us. We can help you. But we can't help you tell you tell us you need help. Its obvious you're scared. What exactly did he do to you?" Kanda scolded in Japanese as he fold his arms across his chest.

"Don't act like you care BaKanda." Ai yelled back in Japanese.

"I'm not acting. I do care. Enough to punch Tezuka though I have no idea why. I do not punch people." Kanda held the hand he had punched Tezuka with for a moment. Kanda could hear a voice coming from down a hall.

"Idiot apprentice! Don't you know anything about this branch yet?" Cross scolded Allen as they walked down a hall towards Ai's room.

"I do! Its just that…. I don' think Ai's in a good mood today. And I don't know if she's even in her room." Allen retorted.

"If she's in a bad mood then she's in her room idiot." Cross saw Kanda leaning against the railing in the hallway. Kanda stood straight up dropping his arms to his sides when he saw the general. Cross walked up to Kanda. "That's Ai's room?" Cross pointed to Ai's door.

"Yeah." Kanda nodded.

"Ai!" Cross pounded on the door relentlessly. "Ai open the door right now." Cross demanded.

"Go away!" Ai yelled louder in Japanese. Cross continued to knock on the door.

"Either you let me in or we discuss this through the door. I hear the Tezuka is here…" The mention of Tezuka caused Ai to quickly open the door to Cross. Cross walked into the room Ai shut the door behind him.

"What happened?" Allen asked Kanda. Kanda stared at the door.

"I don't know and I'll take it she doesn't **want** us to know. Let's go bean sprout." Kanda walked away.

"So Ai, are you alright?" Cross asked as he sat on the chair at the table in her room.

"What are you doing here?" Ai demanded standing by the door. Cross stared ay Ai for a second. She was clearly still ready for a fight. Cross was very glad she had learned how to properly fight, to stand up for herself.

"I had gotten word that Tezuka was being transferred here so I tried to beat him back to warn you. Little too huh?" Cross shrugged as he lit a cigarette.

"Only a little. He got here yesterday afternoon." Ai walked up snatching the cigarette from Cross's mouth and put it out on the floor. "I don't want my room smelling like smoke." Ai crossed her arms.

"I see. Well I am going to talk to Komui about a transfer for Tezuka. If he understands the circumstances, he'll get Tezuka transferred quickly. Are you alright?" Cross repeated his question as he stood up.

"I'm fine. Out." Ai moved to the door to open the door for Cross.

"Till later then apprentice." Cross gave a quick bow of his head before he left. Ai closed the door locking it again before she fell into her bed in exhaustion. About an hour later there was a knock on her door again. Ai slowly opened her eyes, she was getting tired of people knocking on her door. She was tempted to change rooms right now. Someone knocked again.

"Ai. Open the door." It was Cross. Ai gave a sigh of irritation and surrender as she sat up.

"What?" Ai demanded as she opened the door.

"He's leaving tonight. Just thought you'd like to know. Now I have to go before they try to chain me down." Cross left it at that. Ai closed her door again locking it. Ai noticed it was only two in the afternoon and she was starving. She hadn't eaten for a whole day now. Ai figured it's only one more day, she'd get to eat in the morning. But then there was another knock on the door. This time Ai opened the door sword in hand. There stood Allen with a tray of food. Allen noticed the sword at the read and took a step away. Ai spun the sword in her hand so the tip was pointed at the ground behind her then set it against the wall.

"Sorry. Just tired of people knocking in my door." Ai explained.

"Master said you'd not be leaving your room and I know you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. So I brought you food." Allen held out the tray. What Kanda had said earlier about asking for help ran through Ai's head as she stared at the food. It was her favorite, ramen with no kind of onion.

"Thank you." Ai took the tray of food. "Who told you what to get?" Ai looked to Allen.

"Kanda." Allen whispered with a finger to his lips accompanied by a wink. Ai smiled.

"Thank you Walker-san." Ai bowed her head, Allen also bowed his head.

"No problem. See you tomorrow at breakfast." Allen smiled then left.

"Okami." Kanda called out before Ai started to close the door. Kanda was now in front of her door.

"Kanda. What's up?" Ai looked at Kanda, she stood with her side to Kanda since she had been in the process of closing the door to move to the table.

"Can I talk to you?" Ai answered by opening the door some with her foot moving out of Kanda's way. Kanda walked in, Ai shut the door then sat at the table to eat. "May I ask what happened between you and Tezuka? I've never seen you so terrified." Kanda questioned as he sat across from Ai. Ai set her chopsticks down and looked at Kanda. Ai took a deep breath.

"He 'confessed' his love to me. Though his definition of 'confess' and any normal persons definition are completely different. A normal person would call it….rape." Ai looked down at her food all of the sudden not feeling too hungry. Kanda was quiet for a moment.

"What promise did he 'make you break'?" Kanda was confused by that whole statement. She didn't choose what happened to her so whatever promise she had made, it couldn't really count since it was out of her control, and he wanted to know what kind of promise she had made. Ai placed her hand on the rings around her neck through her shirt and jacket. Ai closed her eyes to think.

"I made a promise many years ago to my love that I would always belong to him, mind body and soul though out all of time and space." Ai slowly opened her eyes to look at Kanda. The thought of telling him the complete truth crossed her mind but she decided that was for another time.

"When? Who? You're only 18." Kanda thought that was a ridiculous promise to make at such a young age. Ai gave a playful smile but Kanda saw a bit of pain, loneliness in the smile. Wait, why did he even care this much!?

"It's a secret. But do not worry. All the secrets of the order will soon be revealed. Before this war is over, the whole truth will be know." Ai stood up.

"War? You speak as though this will be the last battle with the Earl." Kanda watched as Ai picked up her sword and examined it.

"It will be. All the pieces are together. He knows that, the order knows it. They are simply setting up the pawns to give the bigger pieces room to play." Ai held her sword up so the tip of the sword pointed to the ceiling. "The queen piece of the order has finally awoken and she's grown tired of the game, she will end it soon enough. She'll protect her king to her dying breath, even if the order does not approve. He is the reason she fights, so as long as she has him, she'll fight, so in truth," Ai turned to Kanda.

"Before the queen sacrifices herself they really ought to give her one night with her king." Ai smiled, the smile kind of worried Kanda. Kanda noticed something in Ai's little speech, it hadn't been the first time she had mentioned fighting to someone's dying breath.

"You are the queen piece." Kanda stated more then asked. "Who is your king then?" Ai turned to the side, took up her sheath putting her sword away. Ai lifted the rings out of her jacket holding them so Kanda could see. Kanda saw a ring with a small gold band with a small diamond and a gold band that was bigger, clearly meant for a guy.

"You said I'm 18. But one little secret of the order I can tell you right now, I am actually over a thousand years old. My king, he died once. But this bastard of an order brought him back as an exorcist, wiped his memory. But not too well from what I've seen. I was frozen a thousand years ago, my father started the Black Order to protect me, and to fight the Earl of course." Ai had turned away until Kanda had knocked over his chair standing up.

"That's not possible! You're lying!" Kanda yelled furiously.


	6. meeting up

**Authors note:** hey, sorry for the late posting I've been busy with school and all. But don't worry! I'm walking tomorrow so school is over! yay! Thank you to all the people who have read my story and to those who have followed my story and me. You're the reason I keep adding more chapters.

Ai turned to face Kanda, her head tilted slightly to the side. She watched Kanda for a moment. He was very very angry right now. Clearly the most upset he had ever been at the order.

Kanda couldn't believe what Ai was saying. What she said would make her his princess. HIS princess he though he had failed to protect a thousand years ago on their wedding day. Kanda a thousand years ago had been a samurai, a personal guard to a princess of Japan. The princess of Kyoto, his lover. They were going to be married but on their wedding day were attacked by the Earl and his noah. The princess, he had the first innocence, the heart. It was given to the princess by the moon goddess to save the princess' life when she was born.

Kanda stood staring at Ai, she did look a lot like the princess, if she had black hair…they'd be a perfect match….

"I am Princess Tsuki Kasiri of Kyoto. The first accommodator to innocence. If my words can't make you believe me anata samurai, I don't think anything can. But maybe this will help." Ai untied her hair and held out the silver ribbon. "This ribbon, you gave it to me when you couldn't use it since you had to cut your hair to escape an enemy." Ai hoped she would believe him. Kanda stared at the ribbon for a while, Ai was starting to fear he didn't believe her. Ai had no idea what she's do if he didn't.

"Kanda. Yuu. Say something. Say you believe me." Ai begged taking a step closer, Kanda took a step back looking at Ai wide eyed.

"I, I don't know what to believe." Kanda finally spoke. Ai felt her heart sink.

"Okay. Well, hold on to these for a while for me. I'll be back for them." Ai took the necklace with the rings off handing that and the ribbon to Kanda before leaving the room. Kanda was so confused right now but one thing was clear to him, Ai was leaving. Ai was leaving probably to go sacrifice herself to the damned Earl to stop the war. Why wouldn't she? Kanda just rejected her.

"Damn it!" Kanda growled as he ran after Ai. Ai had started running once she had stepped into the hall, how long had Kanda been standing there? It was hard to tell how far Ai had gotten by now. "Ai! Ai!" Kanda yelled as he ran down the halls, a lot of people had entered the halls to see was going on. At one point Kanda looked over the ledge to the ground floor, he saw Ai.

"Tsuki!" Kanda yelled, Ai stopped to look up then kept running. Kanda was only on the third floor now so he jumped over the ledge. Ai ended up bumping into Allen and Linali since they were in the way.

"Hey!" They called after Ai. Kanda ran between the two after Ai. Allen and Linali looked to each other before dropping the files they had in their arms to follow Ai and Kanda. Once Ai passed the gate she spun to face the giant gatekeeper. She saw Kanda as he left the building, they both stood staring at each other for a moment.

"Close the gate. Don't let them out." Ai commanded the gatekeeper.

"But, but why?" The statue questioned.

"Tsuki don't move!" Kanda yelled as he started to run towards her. Ai looked to the gatekeeper.

"Just do it! By my command you damned keeper!" The keeper panicked then started to close the gates. Ai looked to Kanda who was almost to the gates.

"It's too late to believe my now my anata samurai." Ai spoke in Japanese just as the gate closed. Ai then turned and left. Kanda stood pounding on the gate.

"Gatekeeper open the gate!" Kanda called out.

"How will she get down?" Allen questioned.

"I don't know. She must know a way or she would have taken the waterways." Linali remarked.

"I'm afraid I can't open the gate Kanda. I'm sorry." The keeper replied. Kanda wouldn't let the stupid gate stand in the way. He hoped the giant wall in two jumps. Once on the other side of the wall Kanda ran off in the direction he figured Ai would have gone. Ai had used little ledges that stuck out all along the cliff to get down. At one point about half way down Ai stopped to look up. The sun had started to set now, the evening breeze danced with Ai's loose hair causing her to have to catch her hair so she could see. Ai then continued her way down. Once she was about twenty feet above the water Ai took her sword in sheath into her hand then jumped into the water. After a moment under the water Ai broke the surface to swim to the main land of London.

Ai had been on her own for a month when she saw Kanda and Allen on a mission. They were walking down the street looking around. Ai threw the hood of her plain black cloak that covered her uniform over her head and spun to walk the same way they were so her back was to them. Ai went into the closest inn to get a room to hid in till Kanda and Allen left. As Ai was paying for a room she nearly dropped her head to the counter when she heard Allen speak to another inn worker. Of course they had to be staying at this inn.

"We have two rooms reserved under the Black Order." Ai could hear Allen's polite smile in his voice.

"Miss, is that all for you?" The man helping Ai called her attention. Ai took a deep breath looking to the man.

"Yes that is all." Ai spoke with an English accent. Ai paid for the room then took the key before heading up the stairs in a hurry. Kanda watched as a hooded lady paid for a room and hurried up the stairs.

"Bean sprout, meet me in the dinning hall for dinner, hold on to my key." Kanda slowly followed after the hooded lady.

Ai had slowed down once she had reached the third floor. Ai took a right and walked down the hall. She looked over her shoulder once just enough so she could see Kanda following her but he could not see her face. Ai stopped at the door to her room and stared at the key in her hand for a moment. She had a choice, she could go into the room shut the door and lock it, or leave the door open for Kanda. Kanda watched as Ai stood there thinking, he hadn't seen her face but he knew it was her. Ai opened the door walking into the room, Kanda walked up noticing Ai had left the door open for him. Kanda closed the door behind him as Ai removed her cloak and jacket setting them on the back of a chair. Kanda watched as Ai undid the braid her hair was in, Ai was acting as though Kanda wasn't even there, she wasn't even looking at him. Kanda hadn't noticed how much he had enjoyed Ai's company until he hadn't been able to see he for a month.

"Ai." Kanda called out taking a step closer to her.

"Oh Kanda-sama. Hello." Ai looked over her shoulder at Kanda. Ai untied her sword from her waist and set it on the table before she closed the wooden shutters for the windows.

"Hello? That's all you have to say?" Kanda growled. Ai turned to face Kanda, her expression was blank.

"Kanda, I left for a reason. And well…" Ai was cut off by Kanda.

"You intend to die. A sacrifice for everyone else. Why must you insist on fighting by yourself?" Kanda demanded.

"Why must you?" Ai threw the question back at Kanda. Kanda stared at Ai infuriated yet thoughtful.

"This isn't about me! This is about you! About you going on a suicide mission because someone turned you away!" Kanda glared at Ai.

"Someone!? It wasn't a someone! It was you! The love of my life! The one I waited a thousand years for! The father of my child!" Ai gasped when she mentioned the child. She hadn't meant to mention that part, she was just so mad and wasn't thinking. Kanda was shocked.

"Child?" Was all Kanda could say.

"Kanda…" Ai grew quiet. "That's one of the secrets of the order. Something I'm not ready to reveal yet." Ai turned to the side.

"It's a little late isn't it?" Kanda demanded. Ai sighed giving in after a moment.

"I've never met him myself…..But you have." Ai turned her head to look at Kanda who was clearly lost. "You know him as Alma." Ai looked away closing her eyes.

"Wh-what?" Kanda breathed.

"Kanda…" Ai bowed her head and shuffled her feet showing her uneasiness. "I can't tell you any of this. Not till after I complete my goals. I want you to know though, its likely to happen, but I have no intention of dying. Not by the Earls hands anyway." Ai looked to Kanda again. He saw the fire burning in her eyes but he also saw the loneliness in her eyes.

"I'm going with you." Kanda stated.

"No. I need to do this by myself. What I plan to do, you can't have any part of. I'll have help. But you can't help me Kanda." To hear that Kanda couldn't help Ai reminded him of how he couldn't protect her on the wedding day. "What is on your mind love?" Ai walked up to Kanda placing her hands on his cheeks.

"Nothing." Kanda looked away. He was too stubborn to tell her. Ai gave a half hearted smile knowing that Kanda was too stubborn to admit his worries or feelings.

"Okay." Ai whispered taking her hands off of Kanda's cheeks. Ai moved to sit down on her bed debating what to do with her stubborn love. Kanda looked over at Ai. She was so much like how she was a thousand years ago. Strong, independent and too loving. Kanda sighed. He loved Tsuki, Ai, so he was stuck in an internal battle of whether or not to let Ai go off by herself. He trusted Ai and knew she cold handle herself but he felt like he'd be abandoning her if he let her fight by herself. Kanda walked up to Ai and knelt down in front of Ai.

"Tsuki, does the queen still want that one night with her king?" Kanda questioned as he took Ai's hand. Ai blinked at Kanda.

"If the king permits it, she could never say no." Ai laughed a little. Kanda missed that, Ai's real laugh, the one that belong to his Tsuki not Ai, the girl created by Tsuki and the Order for the benefit of the war.

"Tsuki…." Kanda whispered her name. Ai wasn't used to being called Tsuki but she wanted to get used to her original name.

"Yuu…." Tsuki also whispered. Kanda reached up claiming Tsuki's lips. First the kiss was very gentle and slow but quickly changed to quick and lust filled. Just as things were getting more heated Kanda walked away.

"You want it, you'll have to come get it. You survive your stupid mission and I'll take you how ever you want." Kanda spoke sternly.

"Damn you Kanda. Getting a girl all worked up then walking away." Tsuki growled. Kanda just grinned sadistically. "Fine." Tsuki looked away. "Get out."

Kanda kissed Tsuki on her head before leaving closing the door behind him. Kanda went to find Allen Tsuki fell onto her side on the bed in frustration and exhaustion.

"That bastard…." Tsuki whined.


	7. death and pain

**Authors note: sorry for taking so long. Its been a busy time. I have a job now! yay! well thank you to everyone who reads and follows my story!**

At about elven at night Tsuki snuck out of her room to leave the hotel. Tsuki tip toed down the hall and stairs trying to be as quiet as possible. It would be suspicious for someone to be roaming around so late at night. Tsuki carefully set the key to her room on the front counter in the lobby then hurried outside. Tsuki right now was on her way to America to the abandoned branch of the Order there. It took her a month to get to the abandoned branch of America. There was a reason it was abandoned, parts of the complex were destroyed thanks to Kanda and Alma. Tsuki stood in front of the stairs that led to the main doors staring up at the building. Tsuki couldn't imaging what horrible things had happened to Kanda here. Though knowing what the Order was willing to do to the vessel of the Heart she knew what happened to Kanda was beyond unimaginable. Tsuki slowly started up the stairs then pushed the stubborn doors open. The path Tsuki took was like a maze since she had to constantly change directions due to damages blocking hallways. Finally Tsuki had managed to get to the basement where the labs were held. The room Tsuki was looking for was almost completely empty beside a few chambers on the walls that used to hold people. This room was almost completely untouched by time. Tsuki walked to the center of the room and looked to the floor. Tsuki knelt down placing a hand on the floor.

"Alma..." Tsuki whispered. There was a boy in the floor, it really was another container. The boy looked about 20 at this point, half of his head had very long white hair and the other side was bald and covered in scars. Tsuki stood up walking over to the controls that would open Alma's container. The floor opened up and Alma's container lifted up standing straight up. Tsuki walked over standing in front of Alma with her sword in her hand. "My child I'm so sorry. I will kill you before you can wake up and cause more damage to yourself and Kanda."

Tsuki lifted her sword up holding it horizontally aimed right at Alma's heart. Tsuki stood there for a moment trying to think of all her options. Did she realy have no choice but to kill her only child? She had never met this child, maybe he wasn't so bad.

"Aren't you going to kill him?" A voice called from behind Tsuki. Tsuki gasped looking over her shoulder lowering her sword a little. There stood a man with long red hair a white mask covering one half of his face. He wore red rimmed glasses.

"Cross. What are you doing here?" Tsuki demanded looking back to Alma raising her sword again.

"You asked me to help you remember?" Cross walked over to Tsuki.

"Not with this part." Tsuki retorted.

"Is there no other way?" Cross questioned looking up at Alma. It seemed wrong to the both of them killing a poor child in his sleep.

"He is a dangerous pawn in this game."Tsuki stated. "I kill this child here and now or take the risk of him killing Kanda. I know Kanda I love Kanda, I can't create another Kanda. But a child that I've never even seen, I can create more children, with Kanda, hopefully. Its horrible to say that, but its the truth." Tsuki readied her sword.

"That is true. That you don't know this child. No one does, but Kanda. But what about Kanda, how would he feel about this? Its his child too, and his friend." Cross reminded her.

"His friend and child that tried to kill him." Tsuki pointed out. "He is making me survive no matter the cost, I expect the same from him. And if he can't forgive me, well he will at least be alive and I can try to repair the damage done. But if he's dead, then, everything is over. I am sorry child." Tsuki whispered the last sentence before thrusting her sword into Alma's heart. Tsuki stood there motionless hanging her head, her hands gripping the handle of her sword tight. After a moment Tsuki let go of her sword falling to her knees crying silently. After a few minutes Tsuki stood up took a hold of her sword pulling it out of Alma's chest quickly. Tsuki spun around towards Cross.

"Lets go." Tsuki commanded. Just as they were about to leave the room a voice caused them to stop in their tracks.

"Oh, what's this?" The voice questioned thoughtfully. Tsuki and Cross spun to see a huge fat creepy guy in the room looking at Alma. "He's dead." The man commented. Tsuki felt all the rage she had kept in check all these years surfacing.

"You bastard!" Tsuki screamed charging at the man sword drawn. The man turned to face Tsuki, he made a sword appear blocking Tsuki's attack.

"Hello dear. Who are you? Are you the one that killed him?" The fat man spoke indifferently.

"I am going to kill you." Tsuki growled pushing on her sword that was resting on the Earl's sword.

"Wait! I remember you! Didn't I kill you a thousand years ago?" The Earl smiled.

"No. And it's take a lot more than the likes of you to kill me." Tsuki hissed.

"Ah I see. This is your child no? And you killed him? How very heartless." The Earl taunted.

"Yes. Yes, I am very heartless. If I can kill my own child, imagine what I'll do to you!" Tsuki pushed the Earl's sword arm away and swung at the Earl's side but was blocked. Suddenly Kanda and a Noah Tsuki had never seen before appeared in the room. Kanda was unconscious, no doubt to make transportation easier on the Noah. Or at least Tsuki hoped Kanda was unconscious, he had blood trickling from his eyes, ears, and nose. "Kanda!" Tsuki ran up to Kanda.

"Aw, how sweet." The Earl commented watching Tsuki roll Kanda on to his back trying to see if he was alive.

"Kanda? Kanda!" Tsuki called out, when she got no response she started to shake Kanda. "Yu you stupid samurai wake up!" Tsuki yelled in Japanese slapping Kanda across the face. Without opening his eyes Kanda grabbed the wrist of the hand Tsuki had slapped him with pinning it to the ground pulling Tsuki closer to Kanda.

"Ouch." Kanda growled quietly.

"Sorry. I thought you were dead." Tsuki tried to sit up but her wrist was still pinned down so she just ended up falling closer to Kanda's chest.

"Idiot. Why would I die?" Kanda sat up still holding Tsuki's wrist. At this point he had forgotten he was holding it, but noticing how close Tsuki was he remembered.

"I don't know, but can yo blame me? You look like hell." Tsuki argued.

"Right. Give me a hair tie." Kanda demanded looking away from Tsuki right at Cross and the Earl. He couldn't see Alma since he was behind the container. Tsuki reached up with her free hand pulling her ribbon from her hair. Her hair rolled free from the bun falling past her waist so right now part of her hair touched the floor.

"Here. Now can I have my wrist? This is starting to hurt." Tsuki pointed out offering Kanda the ribbon. Kanda released her wrist as he took the ribbon with he other hand. Kanda tied his hair back in the usual ponytail before standing up. Tsuki slowly also stood up.

"Well I had you brought here to wake up this one to take the next step in my plan but a certain meddler messed that up." The Earl spoke. "One of our key players are now dead, though I had planned the chance of him dying, not like that though. So time to move on to the next player. Dear little Allen Walker." The Earl grinned, or so they figured, before he suddenly disappeared. The two exorcists looked to the Noah who had brought Kanda here with a death glare. The Noah tried to fight them off but Kanda and Tsuki quickly cut the Noah down. Kanda then started to walk towards Cross.

"W-wait!" Tsuki called out causing Kanda to stop and look over his shoulder at Tsuki. Something was clearly bothering Tsuki. "Just, just wait." Tsuki walked past Kanda up to Cross. Cross knew why Tauki wanted Kanda to wait, but was she going to leave and make Cross explain?

"Okay. Just understand, what I did, I did to protect you." Tsuki explained with her back to Kanda.

"What did you do?" Kanda demanded walking towards Tsuki. He looked to see Alma. He was shocked to see the boy dead. "Alma. You did this?" Kanda turned to Tsuki who was now looking at Kanda.

"I killed him yes. He's tainted. He would have killed you Kanda. I'm sorry." Tsuki looked Kanda right in the eye. Kanda noted the tears threatening to escape from Tsuki's beautiful eyes. Kanda looked to Alma again.

"What happened to him?" Kanda questioned.

"He was the womb for the 'Third Exorcists Program'. You and he were part of the second program." Tsuki explained.

"What about you?" Kanda didn't look at Tsuki.

"Me? The only association I have with the exorcist programs is you and Alma." Tsuki stated calmly. "Well, yeah. I mean they ran tests on me since I am the first. First innocence accommodator. But I had no real part of this."

"Tsuki." Kanda turned to face Tsuki who flinched when he did. "What are you thinking? What are you doing?" Kanda started to walk up to Tsuki who in turn took a step away.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Tsuki blinked a few times confused.

"You say you have goals you need to complete but won't let me help. But you'll pull Cross down with you?" Kanda gestured to Cross who was standing there smoking acting as though he wasn't even there. Cross looked at Kanda out of the corner of his eye.

"Look Kanda, she isn't dragging me down. Im doing that on my own. I hate this Order, I want to tear it down. She is helping me out really." Kanda looked from Cross to Tsuki wide eyed.

"You're going after the Order? Are you insane? What about Linali and Allen? Or the others you know? The Order will kill you." Kanda hissed.

"I'm not fighting me friends. I'm fighting those who are hurting my friends, those who are holding them hostage. I'm going after the Vatican. Kanda no one in that place is happy. They act it but everyone is hurting. I will end the war and then I will end the Vatican or no one will ever be free. Though, do not get it wrong. I'm not doing this for them or even you, I am doing this for me. I'm cutting the puppeteers strings and setting myself free. Its an added bonus that everyone else will be set free too." Tsuki spoke very seriously.

"Cross lets go." Tsuki spun around and walked out of the room. Cross and Kanda stood there staring at the door. Both knew what Tsuki had said was the opposite. That in truth the added bonus to this mission of hers was that she'd be set free. Cross then followed after Tsuki, leaving Kanda there by himself to think.


	8. returning to the order

**Authors note: because i was away for a bit, I'll add two chapters today I guess... **

All of the exorcists Tsuki knew ended up in Japan which was Allen, Linali, Miranda, Lavi, Marie, Kanda, also Cross and Tiedoll. Tsuki was standing beside Cross up on a cliff looking down at the town where the battle was taking place. Tsuki stood wind dancing with her hair, a fire burning in her eyes and hand on her sword. After taking a deep breath Tsuki jumped off to join the fight though she headed straight for the Earl who stood atop the tallest building watching the fights. When the Earl noticed Tsuki coming right at him he quickly blocked her attack.

"Hello Earl. Ready to die now?" Tsuki gave a polite smile.

"Well no to be honest. What about you?" The Earl pushed against Tsuki causing her to fall off the small ledge they were on. Tsuki flipped in the air land on her feet on a nearby rooftop. Linali, Miranda and a few finders happened to be on that rooftop protected by Miranda's clock innocence.

"Ai!" Linali called out.

"My name isn't Ai. Its Tsuki." Tsuki stated without looking at Linali who was behind Tsuki. Tsuki sheathed her sword then looked up. "Heart of Innocence active 100 percent. Guardian angel." Tsuki closed her eyes and stretched her arms out wide. Suddenly Tsuki's uniform turned to a flowing pure white dress and on her back there was the slight image of transparent glittering angel wings.

"Wow." Linali whispered. She knew Allen had a transformation, Crowned Clown but she hadn't known that Tsuki did too.

"She's so beautiful." Miranda spoke everyone's thought. Once Tsuki's transformation was done she slowly opened her eyes then jump up after the Earl. Tsuki drew her sword mid air on her way up to the Earl, even her katana had changed to pure white.

"So that's where the heart is. So I just need to kill you." The Earl laughed. Down on the ground Kanda was busy fighting Tyki at one point he was facing towards the Earl so when he looked up he saw Tsuki going after the Earl. Kanda stopped to watch Tsuki, Tyki saw Kanda's hesitation and tried to use that but that earned Tyki a cut on his cheek.

"Good luck killing me. I made a deal that I'd survive and I'll do just that." Tsuki growled as she swung at the Earl. Tsuki and the Earl fought for a while with neither landing a blow. As the Earl was about to block one of Tsuki's attacks he found that he couldn't move. Tsuki grinned knowing why the Earl couldn't move, Marie had used his innocence to hold the Earl in place, Tsuki charged at the Earl piercing his heart very similar to how she had killed Alma. Tsuki pushed her sword in till the hilt of it touched the Earl's chest, but Tsuki wasn't done, she twisted the blade before taking her hands off her sword. Tsuki put her hand on the Earls chest around her sword.

"Innocence, full sacrifice. Purify this soul. End this war, bring happiness back into this darkened world." Tsuki closed her eyes. Her innocence poured from her sword and from her body into the Earl causing him to thrash about screaming in agony. Once all of the innocence was in the Earl it caused a blast knocking Tsuki down into the ground rather roughly. Everyone the exorcists and Noah stopped looking up at the tower where the Earl had been. The Noah started to cry, they knew what had happened. Kanda ran off to find Tsuki. Cross and Marie had beat Kanda to Tsuki who laid on the ground unmoving. Tsuki laid on her back, head laying to the side so her face was hidden behind her hair, she was still in her Guardian Angel form except her hair had faded back to its natural color of black.

"Kanda," Marie spoke, Kanda stood staring down at Tsuki in shock. "I can't hear her. She's, she's gone." Tiedoll was next to join them.

"No. No, she swore. She swore she'd live. She never breaks a promise." Kanda spoke softly. "Tsuki wake up!" Kanda yelled in Japanese as he knelt down by Tsuki shaking her.

"Kanda. Kanda that's enough. Kanda!" Tiedoll pulled Kanda to his feet and away from Tsuki. Marie followed Kanda to try and comfort his hurting friend. Cross just stood there looking at Tsuki.

"Idiot. He's right. Its not like you to break a promise." Cross scolded. After a few minutes Tsuki started coughing which made Cross jump a little. Tsuki rolled over on her stomach continuing to cough which led to her throwing up. "So you're alive. But how?"

Tsuki couldn't answer right now since she was trying to straighten her thoughts out. Tsuki shook her head which just made her dizzy. After a moment Tsuki started to stand up. She fell a few times but kept trying to get up on her feet. Tsuki finally stood up, she was holding her left arm which was injured from her fall, though there were a lot more injuries than that but she could only hold her arm which dulled a little bit of the pain she felt. She was certain she had a few broken ribs.

"Ai! You're alive! I thought you'd be dead from that fall." Allen ran up to Tsuki who just glared at him.

"My name is Tsuki." Tsuki growled. "Cross lets go. We still have more to do." Tsuki turned and started to limp away.

"Alright stupid apprentice, keep an eye out I have to go." Cross looked to Allen then followed after Tsuki. Allen ran and cut off Tsuki.

"I can't let you go. You need help Tsuki. Let us take you back to the Order for medical attention. The fight is over." Allen held his arms out to the sides showing he wouldn't let her pass.

"Walker, the fight isn't over just yet. Now move." Tsuki was growing impatient.

"No. What about Kanda? You can't just leave him."

"I can. Look Allen. Right now, I have to keep walking forward. I can't stop till my goals are reached. When that's done, I'll come back. Okay. Look I would love to go back right now but that's not possible. It hurts me to say it but right now, I know every step I take forward is a step I take away from Kanda. And in the end he may hate me, and never speak to me again but that doesn't matter. This needs to be done. So move!" Tsuki pushed against Allen but there was no strength behind it so Allen didn't move at all.

"Tsuki, the whole keep walking thing, it only works if your body can physically keep walking even when your spirit is broken. But Tsuki, you're broken in spirit and body. Its not possible for you right now." Allen spoke solemnly as he placed his hands over Tsuki's which were on his chest from when she had tried to push him.

"You're wrong. I can walk. I can. I am only broken in body, not spirit. My spirit it will help me walk now please Allen. Move." Tsuki begged Allen tightened his grip on her hands.

"I'm sorry." Allen whispered, Tsuki figured he said sorry because he wasn't going to move but she was wrong, it was for a worse reason. "Kanda! Tsuki's alive!"

Tsuki gasped trying to get free from Allen's hold but she had no strength. Everyone heard Allen and went running to the source of Allen's voice. Kanda saw Allen holding Tsuki's hands, Tsuki was trying to escape his hold.

"You're trying to run away?" Kanda demanded in Japanese.

"No. I need to go. I need to finish my mission." Tsuki replied in Japanese.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Kanda growled.

"Me? What's wrong with me? Nothing! I'm perfectly fine what's wrong with you!?" Tsuki turned to face Kanda tears in her eyes.

"Do you want to die again!? Don't you want to live!? Or are you tired of this!?" Both Kanda and Tsuki stepped closer to each other, everyone else stepped away.

"Of course I want to live! But I want to live freely! And I want revenge for everything that has happened to everyone!" They were barely an inch apart at this point.

"Why not have us help then!? We could all work together to take the Order down then make it how we want! Stop being so stubborn! Let us help! I know you hate to ask for help or accept help but there are times when you really need help you idiot!" Kanda growled.

"What about you you stubborn ass!? You never ask for help either!" Tsuki exhaled slowly, she was starting to get weak in the legs and rather dizzy. Kanda noticed Tsuki lose the color in her face and how weak she was so he gently grabbed her arms to support her.

"Sit down or you're going to fall down." Kanda spoke more softly helping Tsuki sit down on the ground. Everyone stood watching with no idea of what was being said since no one spoke Japanese.

"We are broken aren't we? Is it too late for us to be repaired?" Tsuki asked in a small voice, Kanda was silent for a moment trying to figure out what she meant.

"No, it not too late. Its just not time yet to start the repairs. Not till the Order is fixed." Kanda tucked some of Tsuki's hair behind her ear. Tsuki looked to everyone that was watching.

"How many of you are willing to take your lives back? To get revenge for what the Order has done to all of us? To take our lives in our own hands?" Tsuki asked.

"I am." Cross spoke quickly.

"But what about my brother and everyone else?" Linali seemed worried.

"I have no issues with them. I'm taking down the Vatican and reclaiming my Order." Tsuki had Kanda help her to her feet.

"Your Order?" Allen questioned.

"Yes. It is rightfully mine. My father created the Order for me. The Order will fall, but we will continue to live there like we have. Like one very big, truly happy family." Tsuki stated seriously.

"I'm in." Allen stepped forward.

"I am." Linali also stepped forward.

"Me too." Lavi smiled joining his friends.

"So am I." Marie stepped forward.

"If it means my children will be happy, me too." Tiedoll joined the young exorcists.

"So am I." Kanda walked over to the group that faced Tsuki. Tsuki stood looking at the group before her. This could work.

"Okay. Well, Allen had a good point. I need to get some rest. So we'll go home for now and plan, in secret of course. Now, I'm just going to.." Kanda caught Tsuki before she hit the ground. It took the group about two months to get back to London. It surprised Komui for everyone to come back in a large group that included two Generals that enjoyed hiding from the Order and a very injured Tsuki. They took Tsuki to the medical bay right away.

"Ah, Ai!" Lukas jumped from his chair when Kanda walked in carrying Tsuki. Kanda set Tsuki down gently in a bed.

"She doesn't need you stupid Lecher. She needs bookman." Kanda growled.

"I'm here." Bookman walked into the room. He looked over the sleeping Tsuki. "Strange. Did she overuse her innocence?" Bookman questioned.

"I don't know. No one does." Kanda leaned against the closest wall.

"She did. In a sense." Komui walked in. "Helvaska says her innocence is gone. Both of them." Komui looked down at Tsuki.

"Both?" Bookman looked at Komui very confused.

"Yes. She apparently had both the Heart and the innocence in her sword." Komui clarified.

"She poured her innocence into the Earl. Its how I killed Skin. The innocence of my sword that's how it broke." Kanda spoke.

"Oh. She survived that?" Komui was impressed.

"She didn't." Kanda looked away. "She had died. But I think a piece of her innocence remained and brought her back. Her moon goddess hasn't abandoned her I guess." Kanda closed his eyes. Bookman and Komui looked to each other then shrugged. Bookman set off to start acupuncture on Tsuki. After a while Bookman spoke.

"I think it will take her long time to wake up so there's no point waiting around here. Go get some sleep Kanda. You need it." Bookman left with that. Kanda looked down at Tsuki, she seemed to peaceful right now. A thought entered his mind that made him very confused which put him in a bad mood. That thought was whether or not it's be better if she died or woke up.

"Che." Kanda scowled then left the room.


	9. fights

**Authors note: yay! new chapter! sorry i've been away for a bit. got a job and been trying to get into college. Got into college so I'm super excited! also its hard since i am typing this in my email so my parents can't read it since its M. thanks so much for the wait!**

The next day Kanda was found in Tsuki's room talking to her in Japanese and brushing her hair even though Tsuki was still unconscious.

"You know, you've changed. You're stronger now. More independent, which I hadn't thought was possible. Do you even need me anymore? I was supposed to protect you, yet all this time you've been protecting me. Geez, I'm useless aren't I? All I can do is chase after you hoping you will let me be of use. I'm a man Tsuki, I need to be of use or there's no point to my life." Kanda sighed, he said all of that to vent. He had figured it'd be best to say it to her when she couldn't hear but now he wished she could hear him. Once Kanda finished running his fingers through Tsuki's hair so it wasn't knotted he started to braid it since he knew she hated having her hair down the way it was. Kanda used the ribbon he had in his pocket from when Tsuki told him to hold on to it to tie the braid off. Kanda sighed again dropping the braid on the bed before leaning back in the chair he sat in.

"How am I supposed to act? I've changed too. I am bitter and too far in the darkness to be freed as Marie likes to say. And this person I am now, I only hurt you Tsuki. But I don't think I can go back to who I was." Kanda looked up to the ceiling closing his eyes.

"You done ranting yet?" Tsuki spoke low not looking at Kanda out of the corner of one partly open eye. Now that Tsuki was conscious she seemed really tired to Kanda who had jumped hearing Tsuki's voice.

"Y-yeah." Kanda looked away with a hint of pink on his cheeks. Now Kanda wished Tsuki hadn't heard.

"Kanda, you idiot! I need you. I can't live without you." Tsuki looked away also to hide her own embarrassment. "Kanda I love you the way you are. People change, it happens. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. Just act whatever way makes you comfortable. I am happy as long as you're happy." Tsuki grew quiet as she spoke. Kanda looked at Tsuki who was still looking away.

"I'm happy right now. Happy that you are alive and awake." Kanda offered which caused Tsuki to look at him. Kanda leaned in gently kissing Tsuki on her lips. After a while Kanda pulled away. "You need water." Kanda stood up to get Tsuki water.

"Later. Don't leave me just yet." Tsuki grabbed Kanda's wrist. "I'm tired. I had a bad dream. Will you lay with me for a bit?"

Kanda stared at Tsuki for a bit before climbing into the bed with Tsuki. He wrapped his arms around her, Tsuki buried her face in Kanda's chest as if she was trying to hide. It took a while but Tsuki finally fell asleep again and she looked peaceful once more. Linali walked into the room causing Kanda to look over his shoulder with a glare. Linali jolted nearly dropping the tray she had when she saw Kanda's glare.

"Oh, sorry. I brought tea for you and some food." Linali whispered. She wanted to ask why Kanda was in the bed with Tsuki but Linali decided she liked life too much to dare ask.

"Leave it on the chair. Can you bring some water for when she wakes up again. I tried to get some earlier but was trapped." Kanda explained a little.

"She woke up?" Linali beamed quietly.

"Yeah. You think I'd get into bed with her if she hadn't?" Kanda growled.

"Mm..."Linali shied away. "I was told to get bookman when she woke up so i'll tell him and bring some water." Linali left the room. After a while Linali came back with water and Bookman. Kanda started to climb out of the bed which caused Tsuki to wake up grabbing Kanda's arm.

"Calm down. Bookman's here to look at you." Kanda explained, Tsuki hesitated but let Kanda's wrist go. Kanda moved the tray that was on his chair so he could sit, Linali handed Kanda the glass of water.

"These beds really aren't big enough for two people." Bookman commented as he looked over Tsuki. "More acupuncture." Bookman pulled out his case of needles.

"More? What do you mean more?" Tsuki eyed the needles nervously.

"When you were out he did acupuncture." Kanda explained.

"Um, can I say no?" Tsuki looked to Bookman.

"No. It wont hurt. But all of your muscles are very tense. You need to relax. And just so we're clear, it will be a long time before you start walking again." Bookman started his work, Tsuki had to look away.

"How long?" Tsuki questioned staring at the wall away from Bookman.

"A month or so." Tsuki had no intent on staying bedridden for so long, not that she'd mention that aloud. When Bookman finished stabbing Tsuki he left. Kanda held out the glass of water to Tsuki who took it, slowly drinking all of the water with Kanda's assistance since Tsuki could barely hold the glass. Once Tsuki finished the water Kanda took the glass away.

"How long was I asleep?" Tsuki asked closing her eyes.

"Two months."

"Two months!?" Tsuki shot up looking at Kanda.

"That's what I said yeah?" Kanda retorted.

"Don't be an ass. Its not my fault I was surprised to hear I had been asleep for two months!" Tsuki hissed, Allen and Lavi had entered the room but Linali gestured for them to be quiet.

"Uh oh. Are mommy and daddy fighting again?" Lavi whispered to Linali who nodded.

"Well next time don't try sacrificing yourself for a battle that isn't just yours!" Kanda stood up.

"Oh? Isn't it mine though! If that innocence hadn't have been given to me none of this would have happened!" Tsuki sat up in the bed.

"Really!? You regret living?! What about all the people you love!? If you hadn't been given the innocence, what about your father? If you hadn't lived, many people would not have known such great happiness." Kanda turned his back to Tsuki which put him looking at the wall. Tsuki stared at Kanda's back thinking of how much it'd hurt if Kanda turned his back on her forever, if he left her alone.

"Kanda, that's not what I meant." Tsuki spoke softly tears burning in her eyes. "I mean...Kanda...I," Tsuki really didn't know what to say, she looked down at her hands in her lap. Kanda didn't say anything he just left without even looking at her. The tears Tsuki had been fighting escaped down her cheeks landing on her hands. No one saw this since her bangs hid her face.

"Get out. Everyone. No one come in till I say so." Tsuki commanded without looking up at the group. They hesitated but did as told slowly leaving the room looking over their shoulders to give her a concerned look. Once the door shut Tsuki tried to get out of bed. Once Tsuki managed to get her legs over the side of her bed she tried to stand which resulted in her landing on the floor with a soft thud and grunt. Tsuki continued to try for a while. She finally managed to stand rather unbalanced for a few moment before falling again. After a few hours of trying Tsuki gave up for the night. She was of course going to try again in the morning. Just when Tsuki managed to get back into the bed someone barged into the room, Tsuki quickly covered herself with the blanket and laid back against the pile of pillows trying to make it seem like she had never left the bed. The person who barged into the room to Tsuki's not so surprise really was Cross. Cross walked in with a huge grin.

"Mornin sleepin beauty." Cross teased.

"Who kissed me?" Tsuki asked slightly irritated as she closed her eyes really leaning back into the pile of pillows that propped her up.

"Well I figured that temper mental samurai of yours." Cross sat down on the edge of the bed. Tsuki's eyes flashed open glaring at Cross. Tsuki leaned forward quickly to snatch the cigarette from Cross's mouth. Due to Tsuki's inability to really control her limbs the cigarette fell to the floor.  
"Hm. So you can't grip anything?" Cross chuckled as he picked up the cigarette. "Linali only lost the ability to walk for a while. But you, your innocence was used through out your whole body, I'm surprised you had even managed to lean forward like that." Cross took a hit of the cigarette. Tsuki leaned against the pillows again, Cross was wearing her out and he had only been in the room for a minute.

"I managed to stand for a few seconds." Tsuki admitted, watching him to see if she could trust him with that information. Cross stared at Tsuki trying to figure out what she was planning.

"You should really rest. Take a break. Just for a month. To heal. Or you really will die." Cross commented.

"Kanda thinks I'm suicidal. That I regret living." Tsuki sighed.

"Do you?" Cross questioned, Tsuki thought the question over for a second.

"I do and I don't. I do not in any way regret my life of then. But this one...its so..." Tsuki stopped herself. She could never bring herself to admit to how much pain she was in emotionally, mentally, and physically, especially not to Cross.

"Why don't you two ever talk?" Cross leaned on one hand that was behind him, he looked to the side so he could see Tsuki. Tsuki seemed confused by the question.

"Who?" Tsuki voiced her confusion asking Cross to clarify.

"You and him. The pissy samurai." Cross clarified.

"We talk. We talk a lot." Tsuki blinked a few times showing she was still confused.

"Not about what needs to be talked about. In truth that is the only subject you two won't even touch with a 100 foot pole." Cross sighed in frustration.

"There's nothing to talk about." Tsuki looked up at the ceiling.

"You two are very stupid. Tell _**him**_ how much pain you're in." Cross pointed at Tsuki with his index finger and middle finger that held his cigarette.

"I'm not in any pain." Tsuki retorted looking at Cross.

"Not physically dumbass." Cross flicked Tsuki's forehead, Tsuki covered her forehead. "He sees it. Tell him."

"Does everyone?" Tsuki asked concerned that her mask had cracked without her noticing.

"No. Kanda knows you. I know you. That's all." Cross sat up a little. "I'll go get him." Cross stood up heading for the door.

"No wait!" Tsuki reached out to Cross nearly falling out of the bed doing so. Cross turned to face Tsuki.

"What?" Cross demanded, Tsuki looked away.

"Leave him be. He needs space, time away from me. I really only hurt him." Tsuki whispered the last part. Cross could not understand what Tsuki had whispered, he just sighed.

"Fine. I'm going to bed. Don't kill yourself in the mean time." Cross waved.

"I won't! Tsuki snapped at Cross who grinned at her flustered yet pissed off expression. Cross left the room, in the hall Cross saw Kanda leaning against the opposite wall looking all cool.

"Hey." Cross greeted.

"She told the others she didn't want anyone in her room unless she said so." Kanda looked at Cross, Cross was disappointed that Kanda didn't have quiet a murderous glare that he was known for, he only seemed slightly bothered right now.

"She didn't have a choice in my case. I barged in unwelcome. Apparently she was trying to stand. Or walk. Probably walk knowing her." Cross looked over his shoulder to Tsuki's room, the door of course was shut.

"What?" Kanda growled pushing off the wall and unfolding his arms. He was pissed now.

"Yeah. Right before I walked in. She was really tired though she tried to hide it." Without another word Kanda barged into Tsuki's room causing Tsuki to jump as she was trying to fall asleep. She knew Kanda was really pissed when he slammed the door shut.

"Ka-" Tsuki was cut off by a gasp that escaped her lips when Kanda slapped her. Tsuki sat there unmoving in shock, slowly she started to turn her head to look at Kanda but he stopped her by gently placing a hand on her cheek. Kanda was looking at the wall that the head of the bed was against.

"Don't look at me." Kanda growled somewhat softly which confused Tsuki. "You, you can't even rest for one day after waking up? What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you really so stubborn. You are in pain, clearly. You can't keep doing this. You're tearing yourself apart. You, you're dying right before my eyes. What am I supposed to do? Do you want me to let you die, do you want me to save you from yourself? Tell me what to do you stupid stubborn princess!" Kanda yelled squeezing his eyes shut, he was so mad so hurt he was on the verge of tears which pissed Kanda off more. After a few minutes of silence Tsuki spoke.

"Save me." Tsuki whispered holding Kanda's hand to her face. She needed him right here right now, she needed to know he wouldn't leave her all alone again. "Save me please Kanda. Don't leave me." Tsuki begged as tears streamed down her face. Kanda looked down at Tsuki. Tsuki seemed scared right now which Kanda couldn't really guess why.

"Actually, I don't give a damn about being saved. Just, just promise you won't leave me. That I won't have to watch you walk away. That I won't be alone again. Kanda I can't live without you again. **That** would tear me apart. Right now, I will admit, I'm on the edge, but I can come back from this. Being left alone again, that, I could never come back from. So please, don't leave me. Tell me you love me." Tsuki sat there eyes closed tears rolling down her cheeks, her hands holding Kanda's hand tight. Kanda sat down letting Tsuki keep his hand, she needed it right now, if he took it back he knew she'd think he was turning her away.

"Tsuki, I don't say sweet words. I didn't then, I don't now. I only say what needs to be said. What I'm really feeling. Tsuki, I love you. Remember that cause I won't say that often. I say it when you need to hear it most is all." Kanda gently kissed Tsuki's eye.


	10. letting go

**Authors note:**** Sorry i was gone for so long. Needed some time away from this story and site.**

Tsuki was so relieved to hear Kanda say he loved her. It lifted a weight off of Tsuki's mind. She let go of Kanda's hand to wrap her arms around Kanda. Kanda held Tsuki for a while before speaking.

"Lets go to bed okay." Kanda made Tsuki lay down after he removed some of the pillows so she could lay down better. Tsuki was exhausted, she laid there eyes shut, rubbing one of her eyes showing how tired she was. Kanda found Tsuki's little yawn cute, she sounded like a child. Kanda laid down next to Tsuki wrapping his arms around Tsuki holding her close to him.

After a few hours pf sleeping Kanda woke up to find Tsuki missing. He stormed out of the room to find her. Tsuki was in the cafeteria sitting at the normal table with friends. Lukas was again sitting in Kanda's seat, he qickly moved when he saw the very angry Kanda heading towards the table.

"Why do you insist on sitting in my seat Lecher." Kanda growled as he sat in his seat. Kanda flashed Tsuki a very pissed off glare.

"Eh, calm down Kanda I didn't walk here. And they made me come here. Lavi kidnapped me." Tsuki protested but Kanda ignored her. Tsuki sighed looking down at the table.

"It's okay Tsuki. We aren't mad at you." Lavi hugged Tsuki.

"You're the reason he's mad!" Tsuki retorted pushing on Lavi. Lavi returned to his seat. Lukas sat next to Tsuki.

"I can't understand why you like someone who is so angry all the time." Lukas commented as he ate. Kanda glared at Lukas.

"Allen, Linali, can you help me back to my room? I'm done here." Tsuki spoke as she tried to sit up. Allen and Linali hurried to Tsuki's side before helping her back to her room. Once in her room Tsuki plopped down on the bed depressed. What Cross said before about how Tsuki and Kanda never talk about what needed to be talked about ran through Tsuki's mind as she stared at the dark ceiling.

"Why is it I try so hard? He will never change no matter what I do. He will always be so angry." Tsuki sighed rolling onto her side burying her face in the cool pillow. "He said he loved me but...well he never sees a point to lie...So maybe it really was the truth." Tsuki sighed as she rolled onto her stomach. Kanda was so difficult to figure out! Suddenly there was a knock on the door causing Tsuki to sit up. She stared at the door for a moment battling whether or not to answer the door. After a while Tsuki could hear footsteps walking away. By the sound of the footsteps it had been Kanda at the door. Tsuki quickly climbed out of the bed running to the door throwing it open.

"Ka-..." When Tsuki looked into the hallway it was empty in the direction Kanda had walked.

"Ai, I mean Tsuki? What are you doing?" Allen asked as he walked up to her. Tsuki turned her head to look at Allen. Allen noticed that Tsuki's grip on the doorway was so tight her knuckles were white. Allen held out his hand to Tsuki showing he wanted to help her stand.

"I'm fine." Tsuki looked away from Allen's hand. "I can stand on my own now. Now that I am by myself, I must stand on my own." Tsuki closed her eyes as she shut the door.

"But you aren't on your own." Allen called through the door. Tsuki set her forehead on the door. "You have all of us. We made a pact that day when you almost died. You will never be on your own. We're a family, and we will always be there for you even if we aren't always by your side. Alright? So don't push us away! That's all we do isn't it? Push each other away?" Allen laughed a little, it was a sorrowful laugh. Tsuki opened the door a little to peek out at Allen. He seemed to be on the verge of crying.

"It's what we're used to, pushing people away. Because all of us exorcists have been hurt so much we don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't want to be left behind again, I don't want to see the people I care for hurt anymore. Linali is the same as I am." Allen spoke softly as he stared at the ground. Tsuki opened the door, she stepped out into the hall to hold Allen closely. It was clear as Tsuki trembled that she was crying. Allen at first was shocked by the hug but he then hugged Tsuki back to comfort her as she was comforting him.

"You're right. We're all the same. So we should support each other. I'm sorry Allen." Tsuki spoke as tears continued to escape. Kanda heard them talking so he left his room which was next to Tsuki's to see what they were doing. He was surprised to see them hugging each other. At first Kanda was furious but he realized that Tsuki simply needed to be held. She was cheating or leaving Kanda, she just needed someone. Though of course he was a little mad that it was the beansprout that had been there and not him. Kanda might not show it but he really did care for Tsuki. Kanda looked away from them trying to figure out what to do.

"Kanda?" Tsuki called out once she let go of Allen. Kanda turned to face them. He was surprised to see that both Tsuki and Allen were crying. Just what the hell had they been talking about?

"What?" Kanda demanded then scolded himself mentally for being so bitter towards them while they were so upset.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing." Tsuki turned to go into her room but Kanda stopped her by grabbing her wrist. Tsuki looked at her trapped wrist then to Kanda confused. Kanda was blushing a little which really confused Tsuki.

"No...I'm sorry." Kanda whispered as he looked away. "I think its time I let you go." Kanda whispered in Japanese as he slowly released Tsuki's wrist while he stepped away. Tsuki felt her heart leave her as Kanda stepped away.


	11. abandonment

"Let me go? After you fought so hard to keep me?! To keep me alive! To keep me away from Lukas! You're letting me go when its easiest to hold on!?" Tsuki's anger that bubbled up inside escaped as she slapped Kanda across the face. "You are a fool Kanda!" Tsuki yelled before she off down the hall. Allen glared at Kanda for a moment before chasing after Tsuki. Allen may not have understood what they had just said but he could tell that Kanda told Tsuki he was leaving her. Allen was so mad at Kanda, Allen had just promised Tsuki that they weren't going to leave her then Kanda went and left! Kanda gently place a hand on his cheek as he watched Tsuki run. She was good at that, running. It seemed that was all Tsuki could ever do. That was all Tsuki did in their life before., run away from what scared her or hurt her, run towards those who could help her or comfort her. Tsuki used to run towards Kanda, now it seems she was always running away from him and to Allen and Linali. So to Kanda it made sense that he let Tsuki go. So Tsuki wasn't hurt by him anymore, and so he didn't have to hurt her anymore. Kanda turned to walk in the opposite direction than where Tsuki and Allen had gone. He had no idea where he was going but he just kept walking.

"Yu, what are you doing? You look like a ghost." Tiedoll called out as he saw Kanda roaming the halls. Kanda seemed lost in thought which made him look simply like a ghost roaming around trapped in this world. Kanda looked to Tiedoll indifferently. Tiedoll could tell something was seriously wrong since Kanda didn't protest or glare at Tiedoll for using his first name.

"I'm walking. What does it look like?" Kanda looked straight ahead as he started to walk again. Tiedoll moved so he was walking next to Kanda.

"What did you do to her this time Kanda?" Tiedoll inquired. He could always tell when Kanda had done something to upset Tsuki since he would always look like he had been stabbed in the heart.

"I didn't, I don't want to talk about it. It's none of your concern." Kanda huffed as he walked away from Tiedoll.

"Tsuki, wait!" Allen called out as he chased after Tsuki. Tsuki stopped, she spun to face Allen her hair fanning around her. Allen stopped taking a step back.

"What Allen? What do you want from me? I am not in the mood right now." Tsuki growled.

"Hey, look Kanda's a jerk. I don't know what he said but..." Allen was silenced by Tsuki's glare.

"Allen, he is my whole world. He's leaving my, taking my heart with him. So please understand that right now I want to be left alone." Tsuki turned walking away. Allen stood still watching Tsuki walk away, he knew that no one was going to see Tsuki for a while, or never again.

Kanda saw Tsuki heading outside as he walked the halls. He went after Tsuki. He stopped Tsuki before she went outside by calling her name. Tsuki stopped but she didn't look at Kanda. Tsuki couldn't look at Kanda right now.

"Tsuki, where are you going?" Kanda demanded softly. Tsuki let out a shaky breathe trying to think of what to do.

"I'm going out for a while. I'll be back. And when I come back, you better be ready to take me back Yu Kanda! I love you and there is nothing you can do to chance that! Leaving me hurts me more than you being with me Kanda. Learn to accept that while I'm away. And no cheating on me or I'll kick your ass!" Tsuki spun around to point at Kanda. Her expression was very serious and determined. Kanda couldn't help chuckle.

"Alright. But you better come back." Kanda smiled a little which caused Tsuki to smile brightly.

"See, you can make me smile when no one else can. So stop being such an ass!" Tsuki scolded before running out the door.

"Is she insane?" Kanda thought as he watched the door close.


End file.
